On November 10^th at approximately 4:30am, I came to the realization that Donald Trump was going to be the president of the United States of America, leader of the free world, and arguably one of the most powerful men in the world.

My first response was to be in denial. I clicked from tab to tab checking every major news source hoping it was a mistake. The NY Times and CNN were reluctant to call the election until a few hours later but it was pretty clear, Trump took it.

My second response was to cry. I never thought I would cry over an election, but this did it. As an International Relations major, the implications of this election started to flood my mind. We were going to become the laughing stock within the global setting. Most of my Ghanaian colleagues found it appropriate to rub salt in an open wound by laughing about the election results and making jokes. It sucked. It also felt as though minorities are being ignored and cast away. As though our voices and our rights to be do not matter. Someone who has claimed that rapists and criminals plague my entire race is now in charge. Someone who wants to build a wall to further divide me from my background is in calling the shots. Someone who is being accused of sexually assaulting women is going to be making decisions that represent the entirety of America. It felt as though my entire being was being attacked. For the first time in my life I honestly can say I feel like an outsider in the United States.

I then proceeded to get very angry. How could people, my neighbors, colleagues, professors, fellow human beings elect a man who targeted individuals like me? Did they even care about humanity? Did they understand the implications of their vote? I was so upset that because I was born a female and Latino. Don’t get me wrong I am very proud to say that I am a Latina Female, but I did not choose this life. Something beyond my power made my skin tone a little darker and my chromosomes be XX. I did not choose to be the minority, so why was I being punished for it? As a child my mom always used to say: “show me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are.” Although many argue that voting for Trump does not make them racist, you are still standing by a man who fits the definition. Did this mean that all along none of the people I called friends cared about me being a Latina female? Did they even acknowledge that part of my life? How could they look me in the eyes and say they cared for me after they supported a man who is against me? I even took to social media to vocalize my frustration:

Being a first generation American, the results of this election have shaken me to my core. For the next four years I will be nothing but dirt to our president. My accomplishments will only equate to what was expected of me because of my race and gender. People who voted trump essentially ruined any chance I have of being seen as an equal in the social realm. I am now almost certain that I will never be an equal to a white female in the workplace, much less a white man. I knew, and my parents knew when they brought me into this world that life wasn’t going to be easy. I never thought it was going to made infinitely harder just as I am about to enter the ‘real world’. I will always be the minority and right now there are literally no prospects to me becoming the next anything if our country’s priorities lie in electing a man who belittles others instead of empowering those who need it.

Our nation will be divided in a time when we need it to be together. It’s a shock to me as a person of color to know that a majority of individuals in our country stood behind a man ignoring (or even embracing) the fact that he has said such demeaning statements against Hispanics and women . Even if the election still goes her way, it’s a shame that after being away from home for so long, I’m going back to a country where over 50 million people voted for a man who has belittled me for being a Hispanic female. Things that I cannot control, but I am proud to say I am. America, you are still not above any bigotry and racism and if anything, this is a wake up call. This man is potentially the new face of America and all it stands for.

Then, after a few more tears, some reassuring words, and a brief nap later, I came to a realization. This is what the American people want. Trump won this election fair and square. I have to respect that. Millions of people exercised their right to vote and the country made their choice. This is the reality of the state of the United States of America. Millions of people wanted Donald Trump to be the President because they strongly believed that he was the better candidate. I am keeping an open mind and hoping, really genuinely hoping, for the Trump presidency to prove me wrong and go down as one of the better presidencies in history. Although I still firmly disagree with their choice I have to respect it. Moving forward however, I have to stand taller and make my voice heard. I cannot let any more injustices towards any minority go unnoticed. I will no longer sit silent in classes, but I will participate in the discussions in order to not only give others my perspective, but to also have the opportunity to educate myself. There are no longer any topics I will not converse with others about. If it has to do with the way of life of millions, including my way of life, I have the right to talk about it.

In the end, this election only empowers me even further. It will empower me to create an environment and a future where things like this, where people like him, never happen again. I am more motivated than ever to become an activist for not only myself, but for all those individuals who felt ostracized and betrayed by their country today. Let us never forget this feeling that we felt today. This dark and terrible feeling of being rejected and attacked in a country that is supposed to be our home, that is our home. This is only the beginning of a movement that is going to shape the future. As rightful Americans, we can no longer wait to let things happen to us, we have to make things happen.

“This loss hurts. But please never stop believing that fighting for what’s right is worth it.”

-L